Parenting - Wishful Pleasure

Whats the pleasure in the world than being a human and becoming a god. The best someone can do is to give birth to another life which talk and survives and saves the humanity. The pleasure of seeing harmones grouping into DNA’s and bones growing the baby to man or women, and then he/she creates a life of himself/herself and inturn sees the world from his eyes. Parenting the art of bringing up the kids are at the best where the satisfaction proves leapbound and gets the match to perfection when the generations grow to hold us back and support us.

I have 2 sons who are now self-established and well settled. They have created a space for themselves and earned a name of their own and in a sense that I could proudly call myself mom of my 2 kids. Why am I still calling them kids though they are old enough to be parents themselves? They will be kids for me forever as I see the innocence and tenderness still in them!!!! My kids have taken me through a full circle in my life and provided an opportunity to unhide the talents I had in upbringing which otherwise would have been hidden for ever. Life was monotonous after marriage pretty much designed and drafted. No deviations, simple but happy and easy. After Rahul, life was tedious, complicated, no definitions, irregular but complete. Confused?? No wonder. Even I was. While expecting Rahul I was happy and I was taken care well…. After Rahul happened, it was a completely different experience. The moment a child is born, the mother is also born. Mother never existed before Rahul. I existed, but I as a mother, never. A mother is something absolutely new. He became the first family name bearer for his generation of inheritance. Kids make life complete as you get a chance to explore your talents as Mother and father which only your kids can give. Interestingly your kids does or has your features that amaze you at the same time irritate you. You enjoy it at the same time awe it as to why be like me…. But obviously he is your son!!!!! Trust me I have learnt so much during and after my pregnancy than I have ever learnt before. Some excerpts.

Pregnancy is a wonderful time where what ever you ask for gets fulfilled and what ever you wish to do you are allowed to do. People take care of you as you are a kid yourself. Either your husband or in-laws (if you are lucky enough to have good ones like mine) would carry you in a silver basket like never before. You will be told of the baby’s advancement in your body and you would be eagerly waiting for the 3rd trimester to come ASAP. What ever you do, the baby is inside you and you are already raising your baby. If you laugh the baby will also laugh. Remember what ever you do, the baby understands, comprehend and also does the same. Pregnancy is a period where you suffer yet imagine and anticipate the life you are going to give. If you are wondering, why suffer so much to increase the population of already over populated India, let me tell you, by bringing a life to the world will not harm the population where thousands are born daily and to couples who are already parents for more than 2 kids. NFHS survey and analysis on fertility is covered in Annexure.
You are god now. You are going to give birth to a life and you rightfully deserve to be called GOD. You will get to understand the pain and happiness that your parents would have gone through for you during their times. It is wonderful to understand and then realize wish I had reacted better to them… I have troubled them a lot…!!!! But after all what for kids are for????

Upbringing a kid is a very important task as be it a guy or a girl, the future and the kind of person the kid is gonna be to the world is completely dependant on the way you are gonna bring up the kid. Thus every parent hopes and wishes
that their children be pious with excellent character but this can only be
achieved if the correct method is adopted and the right
environment created from the very beginning. It is a huge responsibility and mostly this lies on the shoulder of the mothers than the fathers. Fathers mysteriously vanish from the site when it comes to raising and guiding kids. It’s supposed to be Mom’s area!!! What makes fathers aloof from this responsibility? This is simply because; mothers do a better job in upbringing than fathers. Mothers develop the knack of bonding and understanding of their kids which helps them to know their requirements and reactions better than fathers. Mothers have to think twice, one for themselves and one for their child to see ahead of time. Their endless love, kindness, patient attitude and true faith they have on their kid enables the kid to be intimate with their mother than father. Every mother is always working to understand the unspoken language, know the meaning of silence and respond to her kid without an word of utterance. The phrase “Working mother is redundant” says Jane Selman and how true it is, now I know ;)
The entire future of the child depends entirely on the parent’s
teachings, training and environment in which the parent’s bring up their
child. The home environment and the parent’s upbringing of the child either
make or mar the child’s future. Every parent should aim to raise their kid in such a way that the kid soon to be a grown–up will influence the people in the positive direction, be a motivator and be helpful to the community and country.

To sum it all, the parent is like a mirror, the reflection it gives, the child adopts. If
the reflection is good, the child is good. Enjoy the various stages of life before and after pregnancy and be ready for a huge molding exercise of your kid’s future.

Annexure

The fertility rate is high in families with lower class and poorer section than the middle class or high class families. This is due to various factors:

1. Want of son after 2 subsequent daughters
2. Lack of knowledge of fertility levels and risk of high reproduction
3. Lack of knowledge of various possible means of contraception
4. Early marriage and early mothers (36% of the women are already mothers during their 19 years, 27% during age 18 and 2% during age 15, )

It has been revealed in the survey that the states where the TFR is high are Uttar Pradesh (3.8), Bihar (3.8), Meghalaya (3.7) and Jharkhand (3.3). Also the fertility rate is high in the OBC, SC, ST classes than the other castes. This in itself provides a proof for the lack of awareness and knowledge gap between various segments of people and increases the demand for better insight on education and awareness programs in rural and backward caste people.

Ayswarya Sathish